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- The Drum Singers
20
Pao Ching's next problem was to find a house for the bride and bridegroom — to find a house in a bombed_out city where anyone was glad to pay a fortune to live in a cave, where government workers slept on their desks in their offices because there wasn't a room to be had.
But difficulty was a challenge to Pao Ching. He talked and smiled, searched and persuaded, pleaded and bribed. The result was a dilapidated house that had been bombed,which someone seemed to have overlooked. It had no sunlight, many holes in the walls, and a lot of rats, but it was a house. Pao Ching persuaded three workmen to block up the holes, and the couple having duly registered their marriage in the appropriate modern form, moved in. Phoenix Girl had a house, Pao Ching an accompanist, and the troupe was making money. What could be better?
Yes, Pao Ching had a real treasure in his son_in_law. But his victory over the Tangs had a bitter taste. Every time he thought of having tossed his loving and dutiful daughter into the arms of Little Liu, he shuddered with shame. He had always considered himself a cut higher in morals than the Tangs, but here he was doing much the same thing.
Jeweled Lute was now the model of professional conduct. She always arrived on time, sang her numbers and went home. She did not fight any more. Her losing Little Liu seemed to have matured her, and on more than one occasion Pao Ching was sure that he read reproach in her large liquid eyes. To Pao Ching it was as if she were saying, “So I'm cheap. I'm a whore. That's what you think. Your sweet little daughter is now sleeping with the man that the whore got tired of. Ha! Ha!" Pao Ching burned with shame.
Phoenix Girl was spoke less and less. She came to see her mother regularly and stayed a little while. She was mousier than ever, a drab little thing without expression on her face. Pao Ching hated to see her this way, but he knew it was his doing. He alone could read the thoughts on that vacant expressionless face. For him, Phoenix Girl was forever saying silently, “Well, I am a good girl, I did as I was told. Don't worry whether I'm happy. I shall never say what I really think. I'll keep it to myself. I always obey."
His mind became morbid with self_reproach. He decided to keep a closer eye on Lotus Charm. She might be cheating. He was convinced that even with her, he was losing the closeness that he treasured. How to win her back, how to restore their relationship to what he considered nomal between father and daughter? He took walks down town to buy gifts. She accepted them as always, with a bright smile of thanks, and then forgot them.
There were times when he found himself staring at her and wondering. Was she still innocent? She was growing so fast, and were not all women the same? Of late she seemed to have developed astonishingly. Her bosom was much larger. Her face was thinning out and her expression was more intense. Doubts grew within him. Was she worrying about something? Was her heart with a secret lover? Had some man already known her? There were times when she looked like a strange woman. At others she was a little girl with pigtails. He found her provoking, and at the same time alarming.
He thought of taking the matter up with his wife. So desperate was he at times that he was near to asking Mrs. Fang to take care of Lotus Charm and give her the motherly guidance he could not supply. But reason held him back. Mrs. Fang would laugh in his face. And now that Phoenix Girl's pregnancy was beginning to show, Mrs. Fang was lavishing all her mother love on her daughter, hoping passionately for a grandson. If it were a boy she would not need to go to an orphanage to adopt one. Better to have her own grandson in the house than a little bastard no one knew. With this on her mind, and plenty to drink, Mrs. Fang had no time for Lotus Charm, however large her bosom became.
Pao Ching was sure that even Lotus Charm's singing had changed. Now when she sang love songs she gave them depth and color, as if she understood what she was singing. And then, by way of being completely perverse, on certain nights she sang like a parrot, without feeling or emotion. That was how she had always sung before, he remembered, but why was she so unpredictable? Perhaps when she sang like a parrot she had had a tiff with her lover.
One day he met an usher of a neighborhood movie house in a tea shop. The man was ingratiating and gossipy. He made it plain that he expected Pao Ching to treat him. Pao Ching did, and the usher confided his news. Lotus Charm liked the movies very much. She came often, and the usher knowing Fang as he did, always let her in free. That gave Pao Ching a new worry. Lotus Charm usually told her mother that she was going to see Phoenix Girl, but instead she went to a movie. He questioned the man cautiously. The usher was sure. His daughter was always alone. Well, Pao Ching decided, it was a harmless deception, she was safe in the motion picture house. But if she could tell lies of this sort now, what would she do when she really wanted to get away by herself for another purpose?
Half jokingly, he said to Lotus Charm, “I've discovered one of your secrets. You've been to the ..."
“To the movies," she supplied. “It's good for my education. I can read almost all of the words on the screen now. Our own language only, of course. The foreigners write their words across, not up and down." She looked at him inquisitively and went on, “I am going to study a foreign language one day, like Teacher Meng. I want to know both Chinese and English."
Pao Ching made no comment. Instead he said sternly, “Lotus Charm, when you want to go to a movie, don't go alone. Ask me. I would like to come with you."
When Lotus Charm met her mother a few minutes later she announced that she was going to see Phoenix Girl — and then went straight to the movie house. She had reached a stage in her development where motion pictures opened up a new world. It was wonderful to be sitting in the half light watching the exciting love stories on the screen. Some were Chinese, some American. They were new gospel to her, the message of love between man and woman. She was beginning to understand that love was essential to life, that it was nothing to be ashamed of. For a woman not to be loved was shame; for a woman to snare a husband was a matter of pride. If this was wrong, she asked herself, why did the movie people in China and America spend so much money making love stories? And had not Teacher Meng said much the same thing; that a woman should fight for freedom in love, just as American girls did in the films?
Some of the girls reminded her of Jeweled Lute. Those half_naked girls in the American films, the night club entertainers, sat on men's laps, sang and danced for the men, and kissed them in public. Obviously the girls enjoyed it, because they smiled and laughed, and the men paid them well. That was one form of love, and it was interesting. Perhaps Jeweled Lute was not so bad after all; at least, she did not do such things in public. She began to see Jeweled Lute in a new light. Jeweled Lute was having fun, doing what the Hollywood stars were doing, but she ... She looked at herself mentally. She was just a gray unimportant little nobody, who wasn't brave enough to have fun. Only brave enough to sit and watch love in a movie house, against her father's wishes.
And Phoenix Girl had her points, too. No wonder she was eager to get married. A woman could really have fun only when she was with a man. The couple on the screen kissed in close_up. The sight of their lips meeting sent warm pangs of frustration throbbing inside Lotus Charm's young body. And Phoenix Girl had said she got married merely because her parents wanted her to. What utter nonsense! Phoenix Girl married to get all this, and more. She was angry at Phoenix Girl. Jeweled Lute had at least been honest. Phoenix Girl was so sly and cunning. That quiet little face, looking so good, and all the time she was enjoying marriage.
Lotus Charm went home to her room. The movie had unsettled her. She wanted to be modern and free as the women on the screen. She took off her dress and sat down on the bed, her bare legs widespread. This was the modern attitude. A few months ago she would not have dared take such liberties even when she was alone. But now it made her feel good, to lie back on the bed, with one leg flat and the other bent at the knee. Freedom, liberty, being grown_up.
Then she sat up. With brush and paper she began to write a letter to an imaginary lover. To be modern, she must have a boy friend. Who it was, did not matter. She had so much to tell him. She touched the brush to the ink pad. Her mother did not love her. Her sister was married. She was alone in a world of her own. She must have a lover.
Who was her lover? Why, there was Mr. Meng. Teacher Meng, the mortal with a mind, the user of beautiful words; Tllcher Meng, who had given her the power to write. Teacher Meng, she wrote. No, that was wrong. How could a girl address a lover as teacher? But what else could she call him? Other words for lover sounded cheap and undignified. Teacher Meng, she felt, would be dignified even in the most passionate of love scenes. So let it go. “Teacher Meng ... Will anyone ever love a girl like me? Will some man take me and awake me to love?" Now what to write. The thoughts were there, but not the words. Her words sounded improper all at once. She stared at the paper. Everything that troubled her was written in those two sentences.
Then she looked up. Teacher Meng was standing at her elbow. She sat looking up at him, her bare legs sprawled, her bare shoulders showing above her slip. In her hand was the piece of paper — the love letter. Suddenly she blushed and drew in her legs.
“What are you doing, little pupil?" inquired Teacher Meng.
“Just writing a letter," she said. Quickly she put on her dress.
“Excellent. But who is the letter to?"
She smiled and hid the paper. “Just to someone."
“Let me see it." He put out his hand. “There may be some errors."
She dropped her eyes and handed it to him. She heard him chuckle and looked up sharply.
“Why a letter to me, Lotus Charm?" he asked.
“Oh, it was just fun ..."
He read, and raised his eyebrows. “…`A girl like me?' What does that mean, Lotus Charm?"
“It's what I wanted to ask you," she said. She was never shy with Teacher Meng. With him she could ask anything. “I want to know if a man will ever love a girl of my class."
He laughed, tossing his thin face.“Oh, Lotus Charm," he exclaimed enthusiastically, “how you have changed. How you have grown mentally and physically. I can answer this only by saying that if you want to improve yourself, if you are determined to study hard, you can be like any other moderen girl and find a man to love you. You will be happy then, as happy as any other woman. If you don't work hard you may find love, but you won't be happy because you will not have improved your mind. You can read a little now, you must read more. You need to go to school, to associate with modern girls and learn things they learn."
“I, go to school? Where? My father would never allow that."
“I'll talk to him. I think I can persuade him. He loves you in his old_fashioned way, and I think he will understand that education is for your good."
After the lesson Mr. Meng found Pao Ching alone. And Pao Ching was delighted to see him. Of all the men he knew, Meng Liang was the only one he really appreciated, the only one who could fill the gap left by Useless Fang's death.
Meng Liang came quickly to the point. “You must do something about Lotus Charm, elder brother," he said. “She is getting older now, and is at a dangerous age. She knows something, but not enough. She has no mother, and few friends. Since Phoenix Girl married she has no girl friend near her own age. It would be easy for her to get into trouble, to meet bad company and be corrupted. It can all happen so quickly."
Pao Ching looked at Meng Liang with the admiration he might have bestowed on a beneficent god. How did he know what was on his mind, day and night? What a wonderful heart he must have.
“My dear friend, that is just what I was going to talk to you about. I have been desperately worried ever since Phoenix Girl was married. At all costs I must protect Lotus Charm, but I am at my wit's end. How shall I protect her? I have always said that you are the only living soul with whom I could discuss the matter, and not be laughed at."
Meng Liang looked Pao Ching squarely in the eye. He said with slow precision, “You have decided finally that you are not going to sell her?"
“Certainly. I want her to help me for a few more years, and then I want to marry her to a fine young man."
Meng Liang scoffed. “You really mean you are not going to sell her for money, but you are going to find some young man of whom you approve, and marry her to him. Haven't you forgotten something?"
“What have I forgotten?" Pao Ching was half amused.
“Love — the affection of two people for each other."
“Love? What is that? You mean that kind of vulgar exhibition you see in the movies? The thing that makes young people marry one day and divorce the next? We can do without that."
“You don't approve of love, eh?"
Pao Ching hesitated. He did not want to offend Meng Liang. Meng Liang belonged to the theater, and his ideas were not the ideas of a respectable middle_class person. He decided to listen, rather than express his own opinion.
“I know you don't approve of marriage by personal choice; because you don't understand what love between man and woman really means," began Meng Liang. “But you should try. Don't forget we are living in a modern age today, and we must keep up with the times. Love may not concern you or me, but it is more important than food to the younger generation. It is life itself. No one can stop these young creatures, now they have gained the knowledge that love is really important. You cannot stop them, and you should not try. As her father, I suppose you can use your authority to marry off Lotus Charm, but what good would that do?" Meng Liang paused and watched Pao Ching carefully. “Well, it's a step in the right direction that you have decided not to sell her, but it is not enough. Why don't you do the big thing — give her complete freedom, and the education to make good use of it. Give her the same chance as any other modern girl."
Pao Ching was stunned. Meng Liang's tone was accusing him, and he felt that the accusation was unjust. He felt that not to have sold Lotus Charm as a concubine was revolutionary in show business. And he was proud of himself for having decided to marry her off to a decent young man. Wasn't that enough? Yet Meng Liang was talking of the girl falling in love of her own accord and choosing a man for herself. Freedom in love to Pao Ching meant only one thing the profession of Jeweled Lute. The only difference was that professionals made money and these others didn't. His face turned red as he thought of it.
“I understand your difficulties," consoled Meng Liang. “It is hard for a man to change his way of thinking in a flash. The conventions of generations cannot be cast off in a minute."
“I am not conservative," announced Pao Ching firmly. “But I am not too modern either. I take the middle of the road."
Meng Liang nodded. “Now let me ask you this. Since your wife doesn't care about this girl, she won't keep an eye on her. And you, as a professional man, cannot shadow her all day. If she ran away one day, what would you do?"
“She's already been to the movies alone without telling me."
“That's just it. And it's your fault, my friend. You won't let her associate with other girl singers because you are afraid they will corrupt her. She has no friends, no social life, no experience. She is a prisoner of your old_fashioned ideas. What are you going to do? She is in danger now of being bored and running off to find excitement. Your duty to her is to let her meet the world as a respectable human being and learn from experience how to live. She won't run away if she has proper friends and an interesting life."
“What can I do?" demanded Pao Ching.
“Send her to school. What she learns there doesn't matter so much, but she'll meet other girls, make friends with them, and learn how to mix with people. She'd be a person."
“Isn't what you are teaching her enough?"
“No,it isn't, and besides I cannot keep on. I may have to move off at any moment."
Pao Ching was puzzled. “Why — what do you mean? Why would you have to move?"
“Because my life is in danger. My security is threatened."
“I don't understand. Who would kill you? Who threatens you?" Pao Ching had forgotten Lotus Charm's problem. He was unhappy at the prospect of losing his friend.
Meng Liang laughed. “I haven't done anything, and no one has done anything to me — yet. But I am a liberal, and my ideas are always clashing with the government's conservative policy, and our leaders' desire to hold on to feudal power."
“I don't understand. What has feudal power to do with your going away?"
The dramatist shook his head. His eyes flecked with amusement. “You see, you don't know what is happening outside your immediate sphere. Modern times have passed over your head. My friend, this war of resistance which China is fighting against the Japanese is not a simple matter. It is complicated. We have a war inside as well as outside China. The conflict between new ideas and old ideas has not lessened because of the war. China is a republic, but feudalism still remains. We are fighting two wars now, one that started forty years ago, the other the latest skirmish with the invader. Who can say which is the more important. I am a playwright. My duty is to present new ideals, new ideas, new methods, new ethics. And the new clashes with the old, so I have offended the old crumbling system, that still has teeth enough to destroy. The government is watching the theater. Some of our people have already been arrested for being too liberal. The administration does not like the progressives. Everything I have written bears my name. Sooner or later they will catch up with me. I shall be arrested or murdered, for never will I surrender my right to free speech."
Pao Ching laid his hand on the poet's shoulder. “Please don't worry, my friend. If you are ever arrested I know important people who would release you."
Meng Liang laughed loudly. “My dear second elder brother, don't be so provincial. Your way of helping, well meaning as it is, would never fit my case. I am a lost soul. Today I could become a government official if I wished. I could have money and power, such power as you might never dream of. But I refuse it. I do not want their money. I want to be allowed to speak freely. In some respects what is happening to Lotus Charm is happening to me. She and I are both fighting for something you will never understand. And let me tell you this, my dear friend. You had better stop singing those lyrics I wrote for you. I tried not to put any radical phrases in them, because I did not want you to get into trouble, but they are still progressive and inspiring, because they call to youth. The old guard is anxious now about its future. It is one thing to make the people fight for China, another to reward them for their blood and tears. All that our leaders expect is that we praise them in the old way, that we consider them as saints and obey them blindly."
Pao Ching shook his head. “I confess I don't know what this is all about."
“Neither do you understand about Lotus Charm. But I understand you and your wife, because I was like you once. I have learned the hard way. I have gone forward with the times, while you and your wife have stood still. Perhaps I have been leading the times and you have allowed the times to lead you. I understand Lotus Charm, and you don't. That is clear, my friend. So this is what I say. Give her a chance. I shall give you a letter introducing her to the head of a girl's preparatory school. If you wish, she can go there and have a chance in life. If you do not, she can remain forever a slave. I cannot force you." Meng Liang picked up his hat. “But remember, my friend,remember these last words — in case we never meet again. If you don't give her freedom, she may take it and meet disaster. If you give it to her, she may still run wild, but you will not be responsible. Many people have been sacrificed to new ideals, and she is no exception. But I think it better to be sacrificed to a new ideal than to an old one." He walked to the door. “I am going now. Who knows when we shall meet again. My good friend, my good second elder brother, good_bye." Then he turned and fled, as if all the devils of reaction were chasing him.